Escape

I find that I do that a lot.. Escape. When I feel stressed over stuff happening in my life. Or lately.. dealing with the death of my Grandpa. It's a whole lot easier to just escape then to have to deal with whatever it is needs dealing with. But i'm finding that isn't really the best thing to do. I realized just the other night I still haven't REALLY dealed with the death of my Grandpa… I mean. I'm happy and thrilled that he is no longer in pain and suffering.. but I wasn't ready to lose him.. and I have the hardest time being honest and letting people know that i'm hurting. a lot. at times it feels like my heart is just breaking. LIke i'm sinking. and I can be surrounded by tons of people (all of whom I love dearly) but still feel very much alone. Why is that? 

I don't wanna escape anymore. I wanna learn to face my problems. But I know I can't do it on my own. 

a post for the desperate. christian pick up lines.

some of these are funny and some are cheesy some may even get you smacked in the face...You try these at your own risk.

1) Nice Bible!
2) I would like to pray with you.
3) You know Jesus? Me too!
4) God told me to come talk to you!
5) I know a church where we could go and talk!
6) How about a hug,sister?
7) Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.
8) Christians don't shake hands, Christians gotta hug!
9) Oh you are cold, Ecclesasties 4:11.
10) Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
11) what are your plans for tonight? Feel like a bible study?
12) What's your name and number so I can add you to my "prayer" list?
13) The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty and feed the hungry." How about Dinner?
14) You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
15. You want to come over and watch the Ten commandments tonight?
16) You float my ark.
17) Would you happen to know a Christian man that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
18) Nice bracket. What would Jesus date? I mean "do"
19) Do you believe in Divine appointment?
20) Have you ever tried praying at a drive-in movie before?
21) Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
22) My friend told me to come and meet you, he said you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah that's His name.
23) You know they say that you have never really dated; until you have dated a christian.
24) Yeah, I predicted David over Goliath.
25) What? Friends listen to Amazing Grace in the dark!
26) Want to practice speaking in tongues with me?
27) I hear there's going to be a love offering for tonight.
28) If God made anything more pretty, i'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
29) I don't see it, but some people think I look like Sampson.
30) Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives.... Because he never met you.
31) Honesty is like a kiss on the lips.. and baby I never lie (Proverbs 24:26 says "He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.")
32) I went on a mission but all I ended up mission was you.
33) Excuse me, is this pew taken?
34) Hello, will you be my shulamite?
35) Hi, my name's Will... God's Will.
36) I just don't feel called to celibacy.
37) No, i'm not coveting, I intend to make you mine.
38) What do you think Paul meant when he said "Greet one another with a holy Kiss."? (I Cor 16:20b)
39) When I read philippians 4:8, I think about you.

A real life hero!

I don't think there is a pain that hurts more than when you lose a loved one. When someone who was close to you is there no longer, there seems to be an empty spot in your life. You know that life must go on without that special person. My Grandpa was a special person in my life. He was a godly man who loved us grandkids beyond words. He always had a smile on his face. Visiting Pop was always a joy for me, I loved getting wrapped up in his big bear hugs, I loved hearing him pray, and just knowing that I could ask him to pray for me, and he would. I will treasure those moments forever!! His gray hair and warm smile made him the most attractive grandpa in the world! He always had a kind word to say, and always found some way to help others out. You can probably tell that my grandpa and I had a very special relationship. I'll never forget the pain in my heart when I found out my grandpa was with the Lord, the aching of my heart was just too much to bear. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in all my life. One thing that really stands out in my mind about my Grandpa, not only was he a godly man but he used his time wisely. I don't remember him wasting half his days in front of the TV, I do remember him doing, for his family and for others. He was always there if you needed to talk, and oh such an amazing prayer warrior. I thank the Lord for the times I got to spend with Him. They are times I'll never forget. And I am thankful for all that I learned from him and most of all, I am thankful he is no longer in pain, but he is in heaven where he is free from pain and suffering and he is seeing and worshiping his dearly loved savior FACE TO FACE!!!

Kenneth Ralph Marken- September 26, 1924- September 30, 2012

Life

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be alot more interesting if they told how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at wok when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I was Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear the forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet every can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize their brain is also important.

My Grandpa- My hero, is now dancing with Jesus!

My Grandpa, My hero.

My grandpa was the most amazing man I ever knew. He was Kinda, caring, loving and gentle. He had the most comforting smile, and when he prayed he really lead you to the throne room of Jesus! His love for God inspired him to love LOTS of others… not the least his 7 children, 17 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren. He was a friend to everyone. Just like a piano has 88 keys.. which together make beautiful music, my grandpa lived 88 years, each life a different note and when put together it was a beautiful life. My grandpa was also the only guy who was always there for me.. I remember him being excited FOR me over my so grand adventures.. always asking me when the next one was… always wanting to meet my friends. I remember the day I got my drivers license, he followed me everywhere I drove… just in case :) I also remember when I was about 4.. and I was spending time at his house.. he got a blank tape and let me record my nothingness (which is the most embarrassing tape i own now) for hours..LOL!- My grandpa was also the one who got me set up with my very first computer….. ( I also think I got my love for taking pictures from him ) I don't really ever remember my grandpa doing "nothing" he was always busy.. even in the end when he couldn't do much and we all thought he was sleeping- his reply to us.. "Oh I was praying" oh I know he was… I know I am who I am today because of the HUGE part he played in my life.. He fought a good fight. He finished well. I can't even imagine the things he is experiencing RIGHT now! but oh how my heart aches.. I have this empty spot now…     

Kenneth Ralph Marken

September 26, 1924- September 30, 2012      

Church Changes.

SO... This happened over a year ago now.. now almost close to two years.. but here's a post none-the-less.

So all my life I went to the same Church. I had friends. I felt comfortable. I fit in.. I would go every sunday/wednesday.  But it got to a point where I almost dreaded going. Friendships changed. I changed. I knew it was time to find a different church. One where I could fellowship with believers my age. One where I enjoyed going to again. BUT at the same time, that was REALLY hard for me to do.. because.. it was change- It was doing something I didn't feel comfortable doing. It was stepping out on my own and being. But I'll just say it now... that was probably the greatest choice I made. I LOVE the church I'm at now, I have amaazing friends and the coolest sunday school teacher :) and i've learned so much (and still have alot to learn.) 
But still, almost everytime I go to my old church.. i feel this peace sorta.. and i love the people there.. I just Know it's where i'm not supossed to be. not right now.

Change is hard. very hard.

Well.. The title just about says it all. Change is very hard. I think back about two years ago.. Life was Amaaazing... I had the worlds Greatest friends. I was planning a super epic trip. My Grandpa was in good health and We were able to talk.. to really talk. I could pick up the phone and say.. 'Pop- I have such and such thing today.. can you pray.. and I KNOW he did.' Then.. a very good friendship came to an end. It was hard. painful. and at times I still struggle with it. But God is great ans has Blessed me with more amaaazing and wonderful friends! and even then Things with My grandpa was pretty good.. He was still doing. on his own. He could drive. go to church. and carry on a conversation. Then.. that oh so horrible day back feb? when he passed out in church. stopped breathing. CPR was done. (God DID save a life tho.) then things got worse. He was sleeping more and more.. and not doing much of anything. then 3 heart attacks.. and those have left his heart weaker and weaker every time... now he is to the point where he sleeps. ALL THE TIME :( he won't eat.. He's lost over 30 pounds in the last month. He can't see. He can't carry on a converstation. It BREAKS MY HEART!! I hate it. I hate that he has to suffer so. It's not fair. WHY WHY WHY!?!?! I love the fact I get to stay and take care of him. But at times its very draining. I feel SO helpless. I need a friend. someone I can talk to. someone who is there for me. Alot of times we don't understand why God allows something like this to happen. and maybe we'll never know.. And I know that I just have to trust Him with it. But that is a whole lot easier said then done. *sigh* oh my heart. it's breaking. I love my grandpa SO much and just want him not to hurt. not to suffer. WHY HIM?