Thursday, April 3, 2014

Do you remember the time your heart was moved to tears?

So, do you remember the time your heart was moved to tears? Can you look back on the moment after all these years?
There have been 3 (major) times (so far) that my heart has been moved to tears.. and I remember each one of them.. more perfectly than I care to..

1. January 27, 2006- The day my Grandma and best friend passed away. I remember so much of that day and following days. I remember not knowing how to function. I remember being around family (which was the biggest help) I remember sitting around in the living room with all the cousins play 'Dirty' Uno. I remember it all.. and it still makes me cry..

2. September 30, 2012- The day I lost one of my biggest heroes. My Grandpa. Oh he was ready. But that didn't make it easier on my heart. I was on my way to the store with my sister, when we got the call.... I just broke down and cried. I texted my friends to ask them to pray for me.. and I know they did.  My heart broke a little more that day.  

3. October 16, 2013- The day my best friend and the only guy (outside of family) I loved, and trusted. completely broke my heart. (and through a text message) I remember sitting in my car crying all night... I remember crying out to God... and begging him to fix things (I'm still waiting for things to be fixed!)  I remember that night pledging to Pray for him every single day.. (and I'm still doing it.. ) and in my own selfish way I'm still praying we will get back together..

and of course there have been other things that have caused me to cry.. such as: Goodbyes (specially, when I don't know when I'll get to see the other person again.) Leaving Hawaii.  Job stress (not knowing which Job to take!)  Praying over and over and over again for the same thing and never getting any change or answer.. (But i'm not giving up!)  sometimes NOT being in Hawaii or Indiana makes me cry.

But I know God has a perfect plan for my life and I KNOW he has the perfect guy for my life but I know who I want to be and I can only hope (and pray) that it's who it is!!

Soo- there. you have it. I'm weak. I cry a lot. and I have a lot of hurt.. but It's who I am.. don't like it? well.. i'm sorry!