Change...

Change can be one of the most scary things...ever.. It can also be, happy or sad...
This Christmas brought soo many changes it made my head, spin... and they weren't the happy kind of change.. it was more the sad.. i hate this feeling kind of change... It started the Friday before Christmas... when we took my Grandpa to the Doctor, and he got sent to the ER.. where they confirmed, he was having...a heart attack :( Saturday.. (Christmas eve) he was STILL in the hospital... :( Christmas was looking more and more. sad.... Christmas morning.. we got the call.. HE CAN COME HOME!!! we dropped everything.. and picked him up at the hospital and brought him HOME!!! =) YAY!!!- he was tired... but beyond happy to be HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!- a couple times throught the weekend he sad... I've asked the Lord to just let me live till Jan. 27th.. when Evelyn died :( How sweet. but yet SO depressing.. Then the other "big' change was... not having TONS of cousins/aunts/uncles here.. not sitting around the table playing... Picture Telephone.. not play Dirty Uno... not having TONS of people sitting around one table eatting dinners.. no family football time... 3 cousins here.. thats it. that's all.. no week long cousin time..more like 2 days. dumb.
Sometimes its the the things you expect to ALWAYS be the same.. the stuff that makes you feel comfortable.. that thing you love more then Christmas day.. that changes, and when it does change it hurts alot... I guess all my life I took for granted that.. i'll always have tons of cousins around at Christmas... and now.. its not so.. and I hate it.. I hate that feeling. I miss Cousin game time.. go bowling.. The "Fights' Timothy and Brian always seemed to have.. Sitting around the living room singing Christmas songs.  going to movies. My cousins/aunts/uncles are the greatest people I know.. and i hope/pray more then ANYTHING else.. we will have more AWESOME TONS OF PEOPLE filled weeks.. it has to happen again.. i can't stand the thought of us not all being together again.. at the same time.. Grandma woulnd't like that.. and that's the thing. if she was still alive.. I KNOW people wouldn't let this slipping away happen.. STOP CHANGING!!!!!!!!!!!

December...

Its here..... DECEMBER!! =) its always one of my favorite times of the year, the lights, the music. the Christmas tree.. the cookies/peanut butterballs/ coconut bars. all the yummy Christmas treats.. BUT my favorite part of the whole season has always been.. right after Christmas.. having my WHOLE family (ie: cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents) together... sitting around the living room singing Christmas songs.... that hardly happens anymore ;( I guess because everyone is growing up.. and such.. i just wish it could happen ONE MORE TIMEE!!- i like the 'family time' better then Christmas day ;) I realize how very blessed I am.. I Have the greatest cousins. EVER!!!-  And I thank My grandma.. for always wanting us Cousins to be close.. her wish came true ;) I just wish she was here to see it.. Its been 6 years.. and I still miss her.. like crazy.. i don't think that hurt will ever fully heal.

AH AH AH!!- 4 days.. until.. INDIANA!! I cannot WAIT to see my bestest most awesome friends... EVER!! ;) Its gonna be SO SO great!! ;)